Friday, August 25, 2006

If I Ruled the World

In the grand tradition (okay, so it only started today) of Mim and
Imbrium:

If ChemicalPink Ruled the World

1. All people would be required to work some form of retail for a minimum of 1 year. Retail sucks, people, give your cashiers a break!
2. There would be beautiful bras in a 36DD. All I can find are granny bras, or CRAZY expensive.
3. Minimum wage would be raised to $10.
4. Cheese would be the healthiest thing in the world.
5. For that matter, rum would also be very healthy.
6. A supermodel's ideal height would be 5'6"; ideal weight - 140lbs
7. Barbie would not exsist
8. Knitting would be taught in school.
9. People would have to own up to their own mistakes. That means - no sueing for shit you should've known about (as in, "I didn't know the coffee would burn me if it spilled)
10. Chick-Fil-a would be open 27/7. None of this "closed on Sunday" shit.
11. There would be a required class (every year throughout school) teaching about other beliefs and encouraging tolerance
12. Driver's Liscenses require a minimum IQ of 110
16. Cars would come installed with an “Oops!” flag that you could wave when you unwittingly make some boneheaded maneuver while driving, thus decreasing road rage by communicating to other drivers “Yes, I am occasionally an idiot. Sorry!”

Okay, so I HAD to steal the last one from Imbrium, but it was SO right on!

6 comments:

Rilana said...

Amen Sistah, on the 36DD bra. That is exactly the size I wear. I can only find the white, wide strap crap that would be categorized as "granny." We need lace, black, red, prints, pretty bras too. LOL!

Anonymous said...

sooo ninjaing this for xanga XD

caro said...

I hear you on the bras. "Perhaps you'd like to see something in a white or pale pink bra instead?" Bite me bra makers!
And yes, everyone should be required to do a year of retail. Amen.

Kim said...

"ChemicalPink for Ruler of the World!!!'

I think I'm gonna go make a poster ;o)

Anonymous said...

Dear SP8,

Just wanted to tell you that I haven't forgotten about you. I'm planning on putting a package in the mail tomorrow for the final package. Things have been a bit crazy this month.

Your SP8

S t a c i said...

I will totally vote for you as leader if you ever run.

I had the feeling that I was the only 36DD out there, since the selection of bras is so limited! I hope the bra makers of the world read your blog. Cater to us, dummies!

The only thing I disagree with...I think donuts should be the world's healthiest food (not cheese). Man, I love me some donuts.

Let me know if you need some help on your campaign.

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