Friday, June 18, 2004

numb

I wish I could call myself a real artist. I long to create, experience, live, love as an artist does. But I cannot. I hurt, I feel, I sorrow, I regret. I have all the necessary feelings that an artist should have, yet I lack talent. Right now I feel as if I could disappear from the face of the earth and no one would notice. I cannot sing, dance, create anything of beauty, and therefore I have issues justifying my existence. I work in a menial job, and I have unrealistic goals that people just laugh at me for saying out loud. I feel like I will never move out of my parents’ house, or be on my own.

But I can experience extreme joy, as well. I can laugh through my tears. I have loved more than some people could ever wish for, and it was phenomenal.

I cannot even express myself correctly. Not like I have any true friends to express myself to, other than Adam.

1 comments:

a browneyed girl said...

i hope that you seriously don't believe that you don't have "any true friends to express yourself to". I'm sorry if I haven't really been there for you as a friend lately.

You really shouldn't cut yourself so short; you just need to figure out what it is that helps you to express & reflect whatever emotions or thoughts that you want to express.

You seem to be able to express yourself with words quite well; maybe you should try poetry or short stories.

A true artist believes in his or herself even when no one else does; because it really isn't for everyone else, art is a way of expressing who you are, how you feel &, what you see through your eyes.

Pages